This semester my New York night-life consisted of me walking into a basement and slumping over, exhausted. Six hours of classes, eight hours of work, two hours on the subway. Monday-Friday.
People don’t hear about how good my life is, because a lot of the time I can’t honestly say it is good.
I see what I am. I am amputated. I have hacked my life into grace moments and curse moments. The chopping that has cut my self off from the embracing love of a God who, does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow. Ann Voskamp, 1000 Gifts.
Beauty that I could have missed had I not been reading this book: sunshine, soft grass, a pretty dress freshly ironed, full meals, aroma of clean laundry, afternoon naps, and laughter of friends.
Today was an easier day to find the beauty in. It was a Saturday in the park. But, for right now, while my heart is still being restored, thats the obvious kind of gift that I needed. Discerning what is unseen does not come naturally to me.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18
“And I see what I am. I am amputated. I have hacked my life into grace moments and curse moments. The chopping that has cut myself off from the embracing love of a God who, “does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.”
She is no longer defined by marketing herself physically. She is defined by the values she is expressing because of her spiritual reality and worth.
To tell you about all the things that make me happy. To delightedly spill out all my dreams and plans for tomorrow. Don’t stop me when I’m asking a question, just pause for my answer. Tonight I want you to know exactly what I’m thinking, because tonight I’m thinking clearly.
I get to interview for an event planner position with my school’s student council. I get to take a killer economics quiz with one of the greatest professors on this side of eternity. I get to walk into my steady job, and do it with grace and patience. I get to sit through a class on logic that I understand better then most of my classmates. I get to prepare for six rounds of debate that will leave me exhausted. I get to write out the summer plan for my team in Poland, and recruit members for the new positions we’ve been asked to fill. I get to come home to my own apartment. I get to dream and pray to a God of perfect love. I get to stop worrying about my shortcomings, and start claiming the promises of an omniscient God.
The only thing that my heart dwells on this Easter is my own nature, and desires. Oh that God would reveal Himself to me and take away my silly preoccupations.
Oh that I would dig up that passion and pursuit of His Holiness which brought me into this city in the first place. Oh that He would bring out the best in me by allowing all my other interests to fade.